Waiting on the storm

As I sit here, in Wales, with my windows open trying to feel the storm breeze… I find that I get a little misty thinking of home. My actual home – in the Deep South.

I’m finding myself pretty reflective this Monday morning. I miss thunder and lightening. Folks are far too civilised in the UK to have a good thunder boomer.

And, you know that little thrill you get from the weather dude when it’s all breaking loose? I miss that too. I miss everyone sitting outside drinking cold beer and watchin the sky – wonderin’ if this is twister weather.

I miss ‘y’all’ and ‘them’. Loyalty that flows through the bone, no matter how many times you have pissed ‘them’ off.

It makes a great afternoon yanno… Gettin y’all to come over to hang with momma and them to have a cold beer and wait out the storm.

It might sound dire, but trust me – it’s actually pretty grand.

Lynn

All you need is love…

All together now…Nooooo all you really need is a laptop.

Or am I sounding a bit too cynical? Nahhh. Watch me pull out my visa and hit the ‘net runnin.

Let’s take today as a good example of laptop love. I found myself a little bit hung-over today and rather unwilling to shift. However, that didn’t stop me from being useful whilst sitting on my arse in post-beer recovery. No no no, I, dear reader(s), was productive! Check this little list out and feel free to be impressed:

I went grocery shopping, did some bill paying, sorted out my online dvd rentals, arranged for a redelivery from the postman, sent out invitations, kept up with my family, got pet insurance, AND learned all about Second Life whilst listening to my newest addiction – XM radio 80s on 8.

Amazin, huh? Even now, I’m watchin the 6 nations Rugby (Wales v Ireland), went to pizza hut online and got dinner delivered, listening to a mate whinge from home …

How you *evvvah* seen someone so productive whilst needing some couch time? I shit you not…

All together now – All we need are laptops, wa wa wawawa…Love the Beetles :-)

Pizza is here!

Must dash,

L xxxx

Oh my! I think I’m in love…

I am having this whole streamlined new laptop experience. I just got it today, and it really does do everything for me. It’s a little bit sexy, my little HP :-)

I need to run the dogs to the vet. I know in the way of posts, this is a rather shit one – but I just felt this overwhelming urge to share. Love is in the air…

Lynn

I have a junkie super power!

So, it works out that I'm single these days. No biggie. I think this peace is actually coming with age... just now, I am just so tickled to not have to share, I can't get in to the pain all the magazines say I'm supposed to be feeling. Oh what a pity. Heartless? Nooooo... factual, sugah.

I am really digging this 'my way all the time' thing. I eat and watch and leave exactly when I want to. I'm serious as a heart attack here- there is no foward planning. I don't 'run it past' big daddy in the next room.  I eat butternut squash whenever I want and my redbeans go much further...  It's pretty amazing, and I'm betting most chics don't get this. 

Ya wanna know what I did for two hours today? I watched catch up episodes of Grey's Anatomy on my pc. That's right. 

I sat on my arse, drank coffee, and achieved sweet f' all for two whole hours watchin McDreamy. No one nagged me... I think I've discovered a new super power.

I read a book while I ate my lunch. It was great company and I laughed like a loon over my tomato soup. 

I am relaxed... see? It's a super power. I really need to wear my knickers on the outside and learn to fly because this is just fab.

Now here is where some folks might call me a saddy... not so! I am pacing the floor drooling at the mouth waiting for my new laptop. I swear it's like someone promised me Shane Williams naked (thank YOU powerade!!!!). Nothing can touch me... I'm on the brink of new uber gadget power.

I am a junkie... a gadget junkie. Oh shit, I'm a gadget junkie with a super power...

Lynn - counting the hours and checking the city-link website every 10 minutes for a 'where's my package' update!

I'm diggin this brave new world...

Sometimes I am just floored by the awesome amount of truly cool and useless shit I find on the net. I mean, this is some *must have* shit. Stuff I am almost sure I can't live without... Lovely usefulness!

Today I got my Moo Mini cards in the post. They are completely useless and wonderful. They are small business cards with cool stuff on the back. I'm digging them, and I think everyone should have them. 

Then there is the pocketsufer 2r issue - should I have one? I keep debating... I haven't bought it yet, but it's broadband speed surfing in your pocket - That's a little bit uber, yes? 

As well as all that glory, there is my Benrik needs - Get laid, find God - AND my world changing diary's from them.  Here's the blurb from the 2008 one - I just loved having this in my handbag!

This Diary Will Change Your Life is back for 2008! Follow it this year, and you will get to interact with terrorists, traffic wardens, paedophiles and the Dalai Lama. This year's edition also features a red and yellow sticker, hand-attached by the nimble fingers of underage workers in the world's poorest regions. Peel it off after purchase to reveal a) your secret instructions and b) a stunning cover, full of unreadably small Swedish witticisms. It makes a Christmas present of taste, and is suitable for relatives and friends of all ages and IQ levels.

 This is what we all need :-)

The net is a world of Gaping Void cartoons, Moo minis, Join Me Collectives... And not to mention non stop visa abuse

Oh happy days!

Lynn - Off to purchase a Slanket - the very latest in Lazy chic technology

Is it too much to ask?

My needs are simple and clear, and as such, I think should be easy to meet. I don't require world peace, although it would be nice. I don't require a good cell phone plan - God knows I wouldn't know how to act with the extra money they rip off from me. I don't even require good petite jeans anymore - yes, at the age of 35 I am used to looking like shite or homeless when I relax. I don't require a man...but I do admit it's nice when a good one is around.

What *are* my needs (you ask)?

Simple.

Shoes that are comfy with a heel - so I can at least feel sexier than my 5 feet allow.

Moisturizing conditioner that *actually* freakin WORKS. I don't care about the cost

Tortilla chips that hold dip... and my dip I mean the full spread of guac, salsa, sour cream and peppers.

I require store made guac to be at least decent - I am LAZY and WHY can't I find good ready made guacamole?

I require my broadband to connect at least *near* the speed I pay for.

I require people to understand that just because I don't give a shit, doesn't mean I don't care.

See? This is just a simple sample of my simple needs...

So why, WHY, must life be such a struggle? I don't even really mind when I'm broke... but I give a MAJOR shit about having a comfortable bra that gives me awesome boobs - I don't want to hurt. Bra that hurts is not sexy.

Can someone please direct the requirement fairy to my house?

Love,

Lynn - who would KILL for there to be ONE Mexican restaurant in the UK - ONE! I would travel, and I would be grateful.

Yes, yes... I know!!!!!!!!!!! Damn!

I know folks get used to me doing the constant blog thing... but damn y'all! Sometimes life likes to make a real effort at kicking me in the teeth. So you know what happens then...

I get mean, have a cold beer, and a deep think :-).Well now I have completed my uber life dodging process, and I am back! Miss me dear reader(s)?

Currently, there is a possibility that I just might be single. I am unsure... if you have had a beer with me at all in the past two weeks, you will be well aware of this little development. However, in the middle of it all I have become a bit of a  roar chick... you know, I am woman, yadda yadda. What this means for me?

I bought matching knickers, got my eyebrows plucked and made the awesome purchase of purple eyeglasses. 

Am I sick? Nooooooo...... Maybe I'm just changing direction? Either way, I'm strangely calm, and that's a bit scary .

Other news - the shit head neighbor has now moved. He took his crack whore girl friend with him, I am pleased to say. So, as of Sunday we are no longer subjected to their shit taste in music and her pathetic attempts at a blonde dye job (roots you silly bitch!!!). You may have worked out that she irritates me. She did, and now she doesn't, because she's gone to spread her nasty roots and chav lifestyle to some other hurting part of Wales... Can I get an Amen?

Even more news! Ahh... tune in later for the real thing...!!!!

Love,

Lynn (enjoying getting back on the soap box)