There's just not enough love in the world...

Ahhh, what a good song. It's been in my head all afternoon :-)

I think people need to lower their expectations or be prepared to go through life a teensy bit disappointed. 

I shall explain more later, dear reader(s).

Newport Fail!

After I was through laughing my ass off... I found I was a little disgusted. I had to dodge the two teenagers with baby buggys to get this picture...How wrong is this? I'm off to share this photo with the fail blog, however, I need my loyal reader(s) to think about this.  Is this social awareness for 2009? Or is this just freakin funny in a sad sad way?

On my last nerve...I am so confused!!!

People piss me right off. I mean, really and truly irritate the shit out of me. I think sometimes I would be happier if I was on an island, by myself, surrounded with books. 

Take my neighbor - please :-). He doesn't give a shit that his music blares through my walls... he just does it. The good news is that he is moving - I'm counting the days. But seriously, wasn't he raised better than that? Is he actually a piece of shit? I know he's young and I want to believe that he's not a waste of a human being, but in my heart I feel that he just might be.

I really don't like people.

And then...

Yesterday, and I shit you not, a complete stranger in a sandwich shop was joking with me about the busted ATM next door... and she gave me 20 quid to pay the butcher and run down the road to the next ATM. I didn't ask her for it, she just declared that I needed it. I still don't know her name. I quickly went to the ATM and gave her 20 quid return, and I bought her flowers. She seemed really shocked that I would buy her flowers. 

I really don't like people - but then every once in a while I find a person who is worth knowing.

BTW, if that crappy kid neighbor of mine had decent taste in music, I might feel more forgiving. As it is, he listens to that 'duff duff' shite, and I can hear it thumping as I write this post.

I may need to shop - I have to find recovery... I think I might need a g&t...

Gin and shoes... Yes, that's my path to recovery.

See ya later!

Lxxx

Rugby love... Mmmm mmm Shane

Powerade, anyone? I don't drink that crap as a rule... but if it offers a pc excuse to see Shane Williams (Wales winger) naked, then I'll support it. Or, I should say, I will support it until they change the ad campagne!

Now, why can't American football be this way? There is no way I find a bunch of padded numpties runnin' around and stoppin' every few seconds NEARLY as sexy and as fast paced as a good rugby game. No pads, no stoppin'... and would you just *look* at what some of these players are hiding under the uniform?

Shane is next in action on 14, Feb - Wales v England. What a benny... can watch all that sexiness run around and kick the shit outta England...

Riding a bus...I think I have a new source of joy.

Let me start with the bullshitting you phase of the program...

I ride the bus because it's a greener method of transportation and I enjoy doing my bit to save the planet!

Bullshit phase over. Reality phase starts...

I ride the bus because it's cheap and easy and I don't like driving on the wrong side of the road. Sure I drive - I just don't like it. I enjoy my 5 minute walk to the bus station and more than anything I am starting to really enjoy listening to people on the bus. It's a mad-house on wheels. It's life jammed in to a rolling box. I adore it. I missed my stop the other day just so I could finish listening to the convo behind me. 

Making my way home last night was fab... I learned that evil lives across the bridge in England. I learned that you never know 'who's about' after dark' there, and that if your past the age of 80 the bus driver doesn't care if you have your ticket or not. Great ain't it? In the whole few weeks I have been in Wales, I never realised how lucky I was to have safely crossed the Severn bridge...

I discovered the other morning (whilst listening in) that to get anything done right in this world, you can't ask a man. I also learned that as long as your boyfriend says he's sorry and buys you a pressie, it's ok if he shags your mates. I learned that you should never piss off the blonde who is cutting  your hair downtown...

I found out that Judith (whom I don't know but I hope rides the bus one day with me!) is not nervous at all, despite the fact she is 85. She doesn't even keep her key in her pocket and she even crosses the bridge to Bristol to shop sometimes...

I think that I may have tapped in to a new line of wisdom and insight... you may expect more of this from my travels via bus to Cwmbran! 

Stay tuned...

Lxx 

Oh sweet Jesus...

It would appear that I can blog while 'on the go'. What does this mean for you and I? It means there is a very real chance my filter (the one between my brain and my fingers) may be comprised...

It means that I now have the power to shoot off and dispense wisdom when ever and where ever...

 

Oh this is a serious super power I have discovered... Indeed, I think my kung-fu is strong.

 

Lxx - posting from the mobile soap-box!!!

Testing mobile blogging...

Testing testing 1 2 3. A we ready to rock?

I just don't know ...

...What it is about folks. They need to 'big' themselves up to everyone. Do some folks think they suck so badly that no one will actually like the real person inside? Is this an indictment of society at large? Should I be ashamed to let the world know that I make less than a Macdonalds fry cook even tho I have a wonderful degree? What is it about people?

We work to have them in our lives, but we slam who ever leaves the room first. We are quick to pass judgment out loud, and then proceed to lie about ourselves. 

I honestly don't think there is a cure for this. All we can do is become aware and maybe do a little bit of forced therapy.

I have an idea - let's all take a page from that annoying facebook thing floating around (25 facts about me - bullshit I'm sure). Forget the 25 facts and self bigging...  Next time your in conversation make a point to be completely honest on just one thing about yourself. We can't handle 25 things... the world isn't ready and a fair bit of what we put out there is simply gilded bullshit for the masses in any case.

Your wife loves you - your dog thinks your lovely. The boss will always think you work slower than you are actually doing. Your mom loves you no matter what...

So let's try this - let's be honest. Just once, for one brief statement. 

I'll start - 'I would rather have another beer than sit here and chat. I have gas and I need to be alone for 5 minutes before I enter the pain stage....'

See?

Love,

Lxxxx

Feeling the urge to post now...

...Because Wales is playing Scotland today in the Rugby Six nations. This means I'll be at Keith and Sarah's house with a full crew of mates and booze on hand. See, this is what drinking responsibly is. It's knowing in advance that you are likely to be tore-out-the-frame and therefore unable to post or even think later. So I gather my wisdom in advance of this meeting of the mates... and I share it with the world. Yes, I am still convinced there is at least one person out there reading my posts and enjoying the wisdom I deliver.

Today I feel an urge to purge about grocery store snobbery. 

Do you shop at Teso's but act as if you shop at Waitrose? Who out there claims Bruno's over Walmart? Are you ever a little embarrassed to be witnessed by the bogof (by one get one free) shelf? Do you secretly buy cheap toilet paper with some sort of embossing on it because it makes it look like the good stuff?

Do you quietly judge your mates when you find they have that scratchy loo-roll thing going on in their bathroom?

Don't deny it. You know you do. All of us fit in there somewhere to some degree.

I'm going to leave that little home-truth observation with you for a while, and I expect you to think on it. 

When next I find myself sober and unhungover, I shall continue...

Lxx

Seeing Through and Dealing with Bullshit

I'm not gonna sugar coat this one, folks. It's a toughie. Bullshiting is a fine art often used in unworthy causes... The trick is to develop your own powers of bullshit for the power of good, and develop your own bullshit sensor in the process. There are few things in life as important as a grand and fully working bullshit sensor.

One of the most unworthy causes you can ever see bullshit used in is the 'third party viewing' bullshit. It goes a little like this:
'I hate you, I have moved on, I never want to see you again, I'm better than you....' Yet every time you turn around this person is in your road waiting to be 'seen' by you.
Get it? Bullshit.
There are so many variations on this theme, and it can involve everything from Facebook and Blogger to the local Winn Dixie that you just KNOW is 18 miles out of his/her way to shop...

Another run of bullshit to be aware of is the 'drunken argument crisis aversion bullshit'. This is the one where you are determined to hash it out, but the person your arguing in just gives in way to quick in order to shut you up... Then you wake up in the morning believing all is well. Is it hell - it's bullshit. They wait on you like a spider and every declaration from the night before is void. This can be deep and painful bullshit when coupled with a royal hangover.

There are good lines of carefully crafted bullshit that can be used for good... An example: 'I think your hair looks fabulous and that dress looks great on you'. When said on the wedding day of a chick trussed up like a neon cow, it's good bullshit. No need to cause pain in a high moment.

I have to tell you, the bullshit that annoys me the most is the 'religious crutch bullshit'. This is the one were someone can be the biggest lying sack of shit on earth, but because they go to church every Sunday and insert 'God' and 'Jesus' in to every other sentence, then they *must* be OK. A person can be the slimiest liar and holier than thou shite-bucket... but if they make Wednesday night prayer meeting and have a blog about soul mates, marriage Monday, and bible verses with their wife - then they are clearly pillars of the community.
I declare that to be bullshit of the worst kind. Beware... fine tune your bullshit sensors. When yo you encounter this sort of bullshit you MUST make sure your give-a-shit stays busted while your fuck-off is in fine working order.

That's all from the gilded soap-box today...
Lxx
ps. stay tuned - my next rant is very likely to be on the subject of the fake and the pretentious

I quit smoking ... I think?

At the beginning of the year, I got an awesome chest cold. It worked it's way in to a chest infection and it's taking ages to clear out. One of the things I hate is smoking when I'm chesty. So I didn't smoke while I was sick...

And I'm still chesty. It's like 3 weeks later and I'm feelin better, but I'm still chesty. And I haven't smoked. For three weeks. I didn't even miss it. I rarely even thought about it. I used no patches or anything. I just stopped. 

Now, it seems like my family is on my last nerve. I know they don't mean it... but perhaps it's also because I'm not smoking???? Now I'm trying really hard not to smoke - still haven't had one, but now I think about it. Life is not fair... how can I accidentally quit smoking for three weeks and then suddenly have a problem really quitting? 

I'm short and angry... I can do this.  The scary side of this is that my filter is completely gone. I don't like the shit bag that plays his music with that crappy bass too loud.  Before I would take it in aggravated silence, but now I proudly march over in my bathrobe at 11pm and knock on his windows. Awesome. 

I was already a mouthy and opinionated goddess, and now without the cigs it seems that I am set free. 

Watch out world - my mega opinions are coming and I don't care if your on your way to church or not!!!

Yeehaw,

Lynn - preaching from her precious solid gold soap-box

Long time no Blog!

Sorry about that - I know many of you have gone without crucial advice and gossip...

Well, right after my last blog I got a little sicker and I ended up having surgery (on my birthday! bleh!!!!)

Then I had the good grace to recover slowly and after that I uprooted my family to Wales.

Short answer here is - I am better, I live in Wales now and I'm back on form! Yay!